Give us this day our daily bread.

If you have never read my blog but only look at pictures... please read this.

Today I walked to the post office to check the mail. I was walking back to my house one foot in front of the other staring at the ground in my own little world. I past a man who put his hand to his mouth and looked at me with tears in his eyes. "Dabo", he said. Bread. "Dabo yellenim.... coy." I don't have bread... wait. I went to the nearest place that sold bread, passing 2 other young boys along the way who were in need of food. Again I said wait. Then I past another woman in a full black burka... "salamalakum" (I have no idea how to spell that) I said and smiled. I'll pretend I saw her smile back through her covering. So I bought 4 big rolls of bread and headed back to the old man. I past the 2 young boys and gave each of them a roll. They smiled big and sat down immediately to dine together. The older man saw me in the distance and began limping toward me. I gave him the bag with the 2 rolls in it and he began to weep. "Semay mahno?" What is your name? "Berano", he mumbled.... I strained to hear him. "Lauren ibalahlo" I said, introducing myself. "Ena Xabier yeastaline". And may the Father provide for you." I put my hand on his shoulder and smiled at him as tears poured over his cheeks. I have given plenty of people bread before.... in the states and out of the states. I have never witnessed someone weeping from 2 rolls of bread. Weeping in gratitude for bread. "Give us this day our daily bread." I had to keep myself from losing it on the street with this man. The inside of me twisted in a way that it never has... and I can confidently say that I will never be the same after a short 5 minutes of my life with one person who had nothing, yet everything, to offer me.

What I do here

1) Every Monday, Wedneday, Thursday I teach class for an hour and a half. My class and I are reading the Chronicles of Narnia and discussing new vocabulary, tenses, and summaries of a chapter each class. There has been some great discussion on the story of Adam and Eve.... the corruption of man... and our inherit nature of depravity... my students call it "the disease of sin"...
2) I meet with my friend Dagi every Thursday at 4:30 to study the Word. We are going through the book of John.
3) We have a part of the city that is 100% Som. people. These people fled from Som. to Ethio and live in a particular part of the city that is extremely close to where I live. One of my teammates, Allison, and I are beginning to p-walk in the area that we call Little Mog (Mog. is the capital of Som.).
4) I hang out with my teammates and laugh a lot. We have House Ch every Friday and a women's group on Tuesdays. I enjoy the women's group the most probably. There are some incredible people here that are extremely knowledgeable and I love soaking it all in.
5) This Friday we are going to pick up our newest team member, Erin and another group. Erin and I will be roommates for the next however long until I leave. For 2 weeks I will also be roomies with three other 2-year folks until they move up to Bah. D (the place I spent 3 weeks in). Please pr for Erin and her transition. She is leaving the states today.

Random things I have been thinking about: Please read my heart. If salvation depended on loving God and loving people, would I live differently? If I would then I don't live to love Go d or people theway I was called to and perhaps have watered down and muddied the message of Jeuse for others and in my own life.There is this self-righteous side of me that pretends that I know whatch is "supposed" to look like. I have found myself complaining aboutthe dynamics of ch... and shame on me for thinking or judging the bodyof believers. Plus, if we complain about the body... and yeah sometimes we do need to take note of things that are wrong... but if we complain about the church we have to be apart of the change... if wearen't apart of the change, then why are we complaining???? We are just apart of the problem. That is something I have thought a lot about lately. If you are only critiquing the problem then that's aproblem in itself. I live in the mist of war. Something I have been contemplating is if I am ready to die for the gospel. I'm reminded of Stephen when he is being stoned (Acts 7:54-59). He is getting pounded and pounded with rocks until he dies and his last words, as blood is trickling down hisface and he is gasping for air, he speaks.... "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." Am I willing to die for others to know that grace of Jesus?I hate the "M" word. It kinda makes me cringe. The "M" word entails some "saint" or something... like people that have their life so together that they can work on other people's. missionaries are "good people".Yeah... no freakin' way. Gah, I struggle so bad in sin. My intentions are jacked sometimes, my mind is messed up, I don't pray all of the time or read the Word as if it's bread for my hunger... no...I'm not there in any of those things. If "M" entails sharing the gspl... then I sure hope that people don't think I'm an missonary only sometimes. I hope people always see Jesus in me through my actions, love,and mess ups where His grace is provided infinitely. If you are afollower of Jeuse... you are an "M" (missionary).... or maybe none of us are missionaries...we are just people who love Jeuse and believe in His message... we do notneed the "M" label. I do not desire that label...

Monday- 10/6/08 I start classes tonight!!!
1) When I got back to Addis a package was waiting for me! My familysent me and the roomies a package of the best food... and I'm reallyexcited about it.
2) Mesfin is a brother in JC. He is one of the most lovable people.He is moving to Kansas City for the next few years. This is at hisgoing away party. He hates Chelsea so last year I always wore myjersey around him... then my name went from Lauren to Chelsea. So I thought to continue the trend to make him laugh at his going away shin-dig (and he stole my hat).
Please pr for him and his family. It will be a big transition for both.

10/3/08

Today (Friday) I'm leaving to go back to Addis (capital city whereI'll spend the remainder of my time for the most part). It isextremely bitter sweet. I loved being up in North Ethio for 3 weeks.It was wonderful and a completely different experience. Please pr forthat transition. I'm also starting a new job as the administrator ofthe Ed. Resource Center. Please pr that JC is evident in me in thatplace. PLEASE PR FOR MY STOMACH.I feel broken a lot. More than I ever did the two months I was herelast year. I'm learning to love people and it's hard and painful.Everyday I get asked for money... and I mean like at least 20-30 timesa day. It's hard dude... I can't provide for these people... money isnot what they need. This is a journal entry I wrote a week or so ago:I look out the window from the passengers seat and witness the poorparading. Their clothes are the same as yesterday and their feet arebare; they’re barren. I watch their eyes tear through my pockets, butI lock up and toss the key. My mouth spouts words that my actionsrefuse… “May Father provide for you.” I can’t give to the sum, butcertainly the one who holds their hand to their mouth. “No father, nomother, no money”. Their mouths move as guns and their words aresmall bullets that lay in my chest. Such discomfort. Only Father cannumber the times these words drip from these children's lips and sinkthemselves in me… echoing on as the day goes on. And Satan laughs attheir brittle bones or lack of limbs from leprosy. Angels move myhands to give and demons, accompanied by my depravity, clutch everycoin to keep.Father, clarify the times to pull the cloth from the inside of mypockets… to buy bread to break among the hungry. Move my heart toshatter over the brokenness of others. Compel me to pr for Yourpeople… these people. Do not let the repetition of begging rubnumbness in me. Compose a love in me that is not mistaken for anyoneelse’s but Yours. Be evident to others and myself during the minutestmoments of the day. Do not let my words depart from Your Word, enablemy actions to evidently follow the life of JC, and take my life andreshape the inside of it to be a disciple of the revolutionary Gspl. Let it be.