10/3/08
Today (Friday) I'm leaving to go back to Addis (capital city whereI'll spend the remainder of my time for the most part). It isextremely bitter sweet. I loved being up in North Ethio for 3 weeks.It was wonderful and a completely different experience. Please pr forthat transition. I'm also starting a new job as the administrator ofthe Ed. Resource Center. Please pr that JC is evident in me in thatplace. PLEASE PR FOR MY STOMACH.I feel broken a lot. More than I ever did the two months I was herelast year. I'm learning to love people and it's hard and painful.Everyday I get asked for money... and I mean like at least 20-30 timesa day. It's hard dude... I can't provide for these people... money isnot what they need. This is a journal entry I wrote a week or so ago:I look out the window from the passengers seat and witness the poorparading. Their clothes are the same as yesterday and their feet arebare; they’re barren. I watch their eyes tear through my pockets, butI lock up and toss the key. My mouth spouts words that my actionsrefuse… “May Father provide for you.” I can’t give to the sum, butcertainly the one who holds their hand to their mouth. “No father, nomother, no money”. Their mouths move as guns and their words aresmall bullets that lay in my chest. Such discomfort. Only Father cannumber the times these words drip from these children's lips and sinkthemselves in me… echoing on as the day goes on. And Satan laughs attheir brittle bones or lack of limbs from leprosy. Angels move myhands to give and demons, accompanied by my depravity, clutch everycoin to keep.Father, clarify the times to pull the cloth from the inside of mypockets… to buy bread to break among the hungry. Move my heart toshatter over the brokenness of others. Compel me to pr for Yourpeople… these people. Do not let the repetition of begging rubnumbness in me. Compose a love in me that is not mistaken for anyoneelse’s but Yours. Be evident to others and myself during the minutestmoments of the day. Do not let my words depart from Your Word, enablemy actions to evidently follow the life of JC, and take my life andreshape the inside of it to be a disciple of the revolutionary Gspl. Let it be.
Today (Friday) I'm leaving to go back to Addis (capital city whereI'll spend the remainder of my time for the most part). It isextremely bitter sweet. I loved being up in North Ethio for 3 weeks.It was wonderful and a completely different experience. Please pr forthat transition. I'm also starting a new job as the administrator ofthe Ed. Resource Center. Please pr that JC is evident in me in thatplace. PLEASE PR FOR MY STOMACH.I feel broken a lot. More than I ever did the two months I was herelast year. I'm learning to love people and it's hard and painful.Everyday I get asked for money... and I mean like at least 20-30 timesa day. It's hard dude... I can't provide for these people... money isnot what they need. This is a journal entry I wrote a week or so ago:I look out the window from the passengers seat and witness the poorparading. Their clothes are the same as yesterday and their feet arebare; they’re barren. I watch their eyes tear through my pockets, butI lock up and toss the key. My mouth spouts words that my actionsrefuse… “May Father provide for you.” I can’t give to the sum, butcertainly the one who holds their hand to their mouth. “No father, nomother, no money”. Their mouths move as guns and their words aresmall bullets that lay in my chest. Such discomfort. Only Father cannumber the times these words drip from these children's lips and sinkthemselves in me… echoing on as the day goes on. And Satan laughs attheir brittle bones or lack of limbs from leprosy. Angels move myhands to give and demons, accompanied by my depravity, clutch everycoin to keep.Father, clarify the times to pull the cloth from the inside of mypockets… to buy bread to break among the hungry. Move my heart toshatter over the brokenness of others. Compel me to pr for Yourpeople… these people. Do not let the repetition of begging rubnumbness in me. Compose a love in me that is not mistaken for anyoneelse’s but Yours. Be evident to others and myself during the minutestmoments of the day. Do not let my words depart from Your Word, enablemy actions to evidently follow the life of JC, and take my life andreshape the inside of it to be a disciple of the revolutionary Gspl. Let it be.
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